Well, where to begin? First off, I would like to mention I have the honour of knowing the author. He's a really great guy. He wrote "The Green Girl" and had it published a few years ago and I bought it and read it. It was for sure not edited even once. I have a lot I could say on that book but this is the review we are here for. (As a side note, Armstrong had pulled this original book from stores and started over, the new book being "The Green Girl and the Serum" and thus the storyline is technically new. I say technically and you'll see why later).
Before I get into the positives of the book, let's get the negatives out of the way. Apologies to my friend but I did promise an honest review.
This book is filled with info dump and exposition. In fact, almost all dialogue is exposition. It's also a victim of white room syndrome. The entire book is all tell and no show at all. There are grammatical errors legit in the first sentence of the book. There are also punctuation errors that could have been picked up if a proofreader was used, and I know for a fact there wasn't. (I also know this book had been only edited once or twice by an editor and it's obvious that there was no copy/line editor, beta readers, or proofreading done past that point). There are many plot holes and inconsistencies in almost every chapter. (I’ll give a few examples in a bit but I can’t give them all or this will be a book about the book). So many characters are always being introduced that you have no time to get to know anyone. (Again, it's all tell not show). Also, if you haven’t read the OG book I feel like you may be lost. Also, also, why is the book (and blurb) stating Stacey is the MC when it actually seems to focus more on Ben, her boyfriend. Stacey is mentioned a lot but barely a character and she’s on the freakin cover!
The Green Girl and the Serum
by S.T.L. Armstrong
Here are a few of the examples I said I'd mention in regard to plot inconsistencies:
Ch3 Stacey is mean to Ben about his past and is aggressive to him for no reason. All WHILE a literal terrorist attack is happening. Like, could y’all wait to have this discussion? Only after she made him talk, then she suddenly cares about saving the people. Also, it’s daytime and yet evening in Florida?
Ch8 Mist (one of the many characters) can legit teleport multiple people across the world instantaneously (as shown in previews chapters) why can’t she take Chris with her? She literally left him to die. He didn’t have to sacrifice himself.
Ch17 Stacey says Bens caused her nothing but heartache but we’ve literally haven’t seen any of it. Barely any interactions. In fact, if anyone 'cause heartache it’s Stacey for being so aggressive to Ben for literally no reason.
Ch20 Ben has a phone. How has he not been searched since arriving at The Outcasts? This should have been gone and is a weak plot point whether it was taken away or not.
Ch24 Stacey continues to be such an ass that even the other characters have to point it out.
Ch25 Who used as a grown adult “frig” I know he meant "fuck" but it’s a YA and thus there is a lower swear count. But “screw” would have been a MUCH better replacement. Then again, Stacey IS very childish and thus does fit her personality.
Also, love the LGBT+ rep but Stacey outing Mist, when she wasn’t ready, was not cool. Also sounds like Mist is bi or pan not lesbian (but that’s minor). Also, was Mist engaged to the main antagonist (Craig) or do they just happen to share the same name?
Ch50 how did Stacy kiss Ben'slips when he has a breathing mask on? Also, I’m no doctor but something feels off about Ben’s injuries. I can tell no medical research was done.
Ch51 Also wasn’t Surge shot in both knees? Doesn’t that bother him at all?
Also, not chapter-specific but just in general: Every time Stacey and Ben talk, Stacey becomes a dick. I mean she’s a dick to her friends too so I guess being a dick is in her personality at this point.
Also, also, a lot of the characters talk the same. (Ex: Using babe/baby all the time and the word "boss".
Those were just a very small sample of some of the issues I found that could have easily been fixed had the proper writing stages been met. As I said, I know the author and thus I can say for a fact that not all writing stages and proper editors were made. BUT! There are positives.
I did enjoy the read. The plot was vastly better than the OG Green Girl book. The writing was also better (although that last one may be the help of an editor).
The book was an easy read and I can see myself picking up the next few books in the series. I do think Ben should be the MC as he's more prominent than Stacey is, but that's just my opinion.
There was a twist near the end with a traitor that I didn't see coming and I enjoyed that. This book defiantly felt more fleshed out than the OG book. I can tell Armstrong is improving in his craft and I love that for him.
All in all, if you're looking for a super simple and quick read, pick this book up and give it a go. Despite it's flaws it's still an alright read.
